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Due to the current litigious state of our country, we are legally bound to provide the following disclaimer: All rights reserved; you may freely distribute this website, but you may not make any profit from it; terms subject to change without notice; illustrations slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Parental advisory: This website may contain explicit words, phrases or lyrics that some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance recommended. Reader assumes full responsibility. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from animals and small children. Must have parental permission or be 18 or older to read. Limit one per family please. No money down, No purchase necessary, you need not be present to win. All prize awards subject to verification, judge’s decision is final. All prizes may not be awarded. Odds of winning: 1 in 100,000,000,000,000. Some assembly required, batteries not included; instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, contact physician immediately. Smoking this website could be hazardous to your health. This website is not intended for human consumption. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. For external use only; if rash, irritation, redness or swelling develops, discontinue reading this website and contact physician. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat, do not use bleach. Do not fold, mutilate or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only. This website is void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted. Caveat Emptor. This website is provided "as is" without any warranties. This is an equal opportunity website. No shoes, No shirt, No reading. Quantities are limited; good only while supplies last. If any defects are discovered do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk! Read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flame, avoid contact with eyes and skin. Avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence is the use of a condom. May be come slippery when wet. This website ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer slightly higher in California. Allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery. Call before digging. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse of this website. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lighting, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, arrival of aliens, and other Acts of God. Neglect, damage, injury, sickness or death from misreading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, communications equipment outages or failures or loss due to war, nuclear accident, solar flares, vibrations, sonic booms, customer alterations and adjustments, crashing, dropping the website, falling rocks, leaks, alien invasions, floods, forest fires, projectiles (both man-made or natural, including, but not limited to: BBs, bullets, missiles, hail, arrows, stones, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emission of x-ray, alpha, beta or gamma particles, or knives) motor vehicles, are the responsibility of the reader. Other restrictions may apply. This website is subject to termination without notice or other penalty. The content of this website does not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of either the author, my wife, our children, our relatives, friends or our cats; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything. Copyright December 2000, All Rights Reserved. |